Vicious, thieving little bastids!
I jest, but…
It’s not like we hadn’t been warned. Take care on Monkey Beach; they have no fear, and an insatiable lust for goodies. But still…
It all started when I went for a swim, on what we’d heard was a safe beach for it. Having not had the opportunity since our hotel in Kuala Lumpur, I was really looking forward to it, and everything started well. The water was warm – actually warm – if a bit murky, and I was enjoying myself and lost in my thoughts, when suddenly Cazart! In a split second the sheer shock was displaced by a searing pain, and I thought ‘jellyfish!’ In no time at all I had severe burning down both legs, with a bit of afters on my stomach just for fun.
I dragged myself back to the beach, and hobbled back to where Virle was stretched out on a towel. After the sympathies and the condolence, “Does it hurt?” Why yes, it hurts. A lot? Well, kind of like if you’d been stung by a dozen wasps, about that much. So yes, a lot.
Sadly there’s really not much you can do. ‘Bathing the affected parts in vinegar for 15-20 minutes might bring some relief.’ Fancy us forgetting to bring our vinegar to the beach. Virle managed to come up with a couple of paracetamol, and a tube of antihistamine, which didn’t seem to be having much effect (though certainly couldn’t hurt), so I decided to go for a walk along the beach, by way of a distraction.
It’s not a big beach, so I wasn’t gone for long, but on my way back, about 30 or 40 metres short of where I’d left V, I could see her waving to me frantically, accompanied by the occasional scream. Breaking into a run – for the first time since my hip replacement, as it happens – I could see as I approached that she was being menaced by a large, teeth-bared monkey. Hero that I am, I leapt into the fray and advanced on it, shouting and gesticulating as best I could. It turned and bared its teeth at me, and stood its ground as I approached. I kept yelling and, for want of any kind of weapon, kicked sand in its face, at which point, thank God, it decided to call it quits, and slunk off down the beach.
I looked around and selected a good club-sized stick, which I kept close to hand for the rest of our stay, but it had clearly decided that would do for now. Virle later told me that before I’d arrived it had got hold of our knapsack with one hand, and was searching for the zipper with t’other. Clever wee buggers, give ’em that! I have to say, despite the warnings, I never expected such a determined, full on attack.
Having survived the encounter, we had some lunch at one of the cafes on the beach – fresh-cooked, one dish after t’other in a wok, and very nice too – and then went for a walk to the lighthouse. Which turned out to be a pretty strenuous 45 minutes or so uphill – absolutely draining in the humidity and heat – and ended up with the let down of the place not even being open, so we didn’t get the views we’d been looking forward to. Tho’ we did get one bonus – a sighting of a real, wild, non tourist-tart monkey, doing his or her thing up in the trees! Wonderful!